We don't get that many visitors in these parts, but on one memorable occasion in the dying days of 2015 a notable wanderer from those United States made the perilous carriage trip across the Winter moors, ever so politely asking if she could experience some of our legendary ways of mess.

Needless to say she was promptly invited in. The following morning, bright and early, Maria decided to go for a run round the gardens. Being a bit cheeky, she didn't bother with any underwear, instead pulling on her capri length purple running trousers and matching sports bra top straight over bare skin. She added a pair of plimsolls, without socks.

Of course this is a very ancient house, over six hundred years of history which grew and evolved over the centuries. The result is a building that very few people truly know all the secrets of. So needless to say Maria took a wrong turning, and ended up finding herself in the dungeon. Where Rosemary the Head Groom was, for reasons entirely unknown to science, in the process of making up some pies.

Needless to say Mypierogative could not just pass up on the chance for some pie, so she asked if she could sample some. "Sure!" said Rosemary, but before anyone can try Langstonedale pie, they must first be initiated, and then prove themselves. "Are you OK with that?" she asked? "Ok" our American visitor replied, guessing correctly that whatever came next would be rather messy.

First came the initiation. A full can of custard poured into the front of Maria's running trousers, slightly off centre so most of it went down her right leg, wetting and soaking through the fabric, and then a second full can, poured straight in dead centre at down the back of her trousers, a visible wetting and staining showing through the tight material as the custard flowed down between her cheeks, collected between her legs, and flowed evenly down each inside leg.

Then came the proving, as Rosemary, very smartly dressed in brand new white jodhpurs, white polo shirt, and black Dunlop wellies, tells Maria to thoroughly gunge her, to demonstrate her knowledge and skill.

Maria proceeds to fill Rosemary's pristine white jodhpurs with tomato soup, thoroughly cover and fill the collar of Rosemary's gleaming white polo-shirt with custard, then fill her shirt with more tomato soup, and generally completely destroy her once-white clothes with lavish amounts of mixed gunge. Once she is finished, Rosemary surveys her mess-drenched clothes, pronounces herself satisfied with Maria's skills, and invites her to take a seat and enjoy some pie.

An all-out gunge frenzy follows, with pies to faces, bottoms, chests, and heads, more clothes filling, a complete messy shampoo for both girls, ending in both of them monumentally messed up from head to toe, drenched in mess, and posing for the camera, messy bottoms pressed together.

Technical: This video has full original sound throughout, and also comes with a full high-res photoset.